Five-O Parodies by SCTV and Paul Hogan/Benny Hill


The SCTV Five-O parody is called Hawaii Five-Ho and has McGarrett replaced by Don Ho (Tony Rosato).

The opening scene has Danno (Rick Moranis) and Chin (unidentified Asian actor) in the Five-O office. Danno says, "Chief, here's that file we've been looking for." Don Ho swivels around in his chair playing a ukelele, and says "Listen to this ... Hookie Pookie..." Danno says, "What do we do about these suspects?" Don says, "Book 'em, Danno ... Hey, Danno, do you know how to play a seventh minor [I think he means 'minor seventh']?"

Next scene is at a nightclub, Danno notices a large card in the lobby saying Sinatra is playing there, he says to Don Ho, "There's no warm-up act." Don Ho says, "Book me, Danno."

The final scene is in the nightclub, Don Ho is singing Tiny Bubbles, then he dedicates the next number to Danno and Chin in the audience, and sings "Hookie Pookie" to the Five-O main theme. Both Danno and Chin sneak out of the audience.

NOTE: On the SCTV DVD set containing this sketch, entitled "Best Of the Early Years," the Five-O music has been replaced with similar-sounding music (presumably because it was too expensive to secure the rights to the Five-O music).

Click here to see this parody (requires QuickTime -- iPod compatible).

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There was a funny Five-O take-off on The Paul Hogan Show in Australia in the early 1980's. The half-hour comedy program featured the Australian star before anyone in the U.S. knew who he was.

The parody was called 'Benny Five-O' because English comedian Benny Hill was a guest star in the piece. Hill appears in his guise as an idiot doorman wearing a trench coat and beret who's constantly saluting the camera. The music at the end is typical Benny Hill music with people running around in fast motion

The parody begins with "The Wave" from the beginning of the show. We then see guys paddling in the outrigger, but when they arrive on the shore, they all have their feet going through the bottom of the boat and are just walking along the ocean floor. Benny salutes.

McGarrett and Danno are seen knocking on a door. McGarrett tells Danno to break the door down, and Danno kicks it with his foot. However, his foot goes through the door just as a woman opens the door, causing Danno to fall to the ground.

In the next scene, McGarrett stands beside a huge American car, shooting it out with a crook several feet away. The crook grabs a beautiful babe walking by and holds her in front of him as a hostage. McG grabs a fat old bag walking by him and uses her a hostage.

Benny Hill is leaning up against a wall, hiding the WO of the WOMEN's washroom. McG enters the building, but soon comes out, being chased by a woman in bra and panties who is hitting him.

McG and Danno talk beside McG's huge car. The outrigger guys run past, and McGarrett reaches into the car and grabs the radio. Danno gets in the car and starts it, dragging McGarrett (still holding the radio) behind the car on the street.

A thug is beating up the fat old bag. McGarrett arrives and punches the thug out, but is so wound up fighting that he proceeds to beat up the old bag.

McGarrett in his car stops a dune buggy containing a beautiful babe and the old bag. He orders them both out of the car, muttering "spread 'em," and is about to feel up the babe when Benny Hill comes between them. McGarrett gets confused and feels up the old bag instead. She punches him.

Camera closes in on a hula dancer who is revealed to be a rather ugly man!

Benny Hill opens the car door for McGarrett, who drives away, leaving Benny holding the door.

Another shot of the hula "woman" shaking her ass.

McGarrett and Danno approach a house, first bumping into each other. Danno knocks the door down just as the outrigger guys come out, causing him to fall on the ground. Benny Hill appears and checks out Danno.

McGarrett and Danno surprise a crook. They handcuff him, but in the process, McGarrett himself gets handcuffed. He kicks Danno as Danno attempts to extract him.

The woman in bra and panties appears as Benny seems to be taking a pee behind a palm tree (it's actually a guy standing in front of him behind the tree who is peeing). This segues into the final chase involving all characters from the parody.

Click here to see this parody (requires QuickTime -- iPod compatible). NOTE: The quality of this video is not that great, but better than the one I had before. This one is filched from YouTube.