Five-O Oddities, Goofs, Trivia -- Season 6

Copyright ©1994-2016 by Mike Quigley. No reproduction of any kind without permission. Original air dates are taken from information supplied by the Iolani Palace Irregulars and Karen Rhodes' Booking Five-O.


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OUR RATINGS:
**** = One of the very best episodes, a must-see.
*** = Better than average, worthy of attention.
** = Average, perhaps with a few moments of interest.
* = One of the very worst, a show to avoid.
121. Hookman****
Original air date: 9/11/73 -- Plot -- Opening Credits -- End Credits

Kurt Stoner is one of the nastiest of Five-O's villains. He is played by real-life armless detective Jay J. Armes, who "cracked headline-making cases for Marlon Brando, Howard Hughes, Elizabeth Taylor, Yoko Ono and Elvis Presley", according to the cover of his 1976 autobiography. Many of Stoner's moves in the show seem designed to highlight Armes' considerable abilities with his hook hands. Stoner's beef is with McGarrett and three other cops who confronted him years before during a bank robbery. There he accidentally blew up his own hands with explosives he was using to threaten the bank employees. After Stoner kills the policeman Keoki at the beginning of the show, a newspaper headline from the Honolulu Advertiser identifies him as a "roofstop sniper," and McGarrett asks "how did the rifle end up on a rooftop." But Stoner was actually on top of a hill. (The crosshairs of his rifle seem to be everywhere but on the target prior to the shooting.) The date on this newspaper is Tuesday, October 9, 1973 -- a month after the show was broadcast. McGarrett snaps his fingers more times than normal at the first crime scene (at least 12 times) ... obviously he is very pissed! Donald (later Billy) Roessler briefly appears as McKinney, who engages in a wild gun battle with the cops, calling calling them "pigs" and Danno "big mouth" when the latter uses a bullhorn to try and persuade him to surrender. Chin later says McKinney was on drugs, which "scrambled his brains." Another cop from the bank robbery, Ookala, gets shot during the confrontation with McKinney. He is played by Samuel Alama, who gives an excellent performance during his brief scene with McGarrett in the Five-O office earlier in the show. When McGarrett figures out that Stoner is behind the first two cop killings, he puts in an immediate call to future victim Larry Thompson. Central Dispatch says Thompson is "off duty," but when Danno appears a minute later, he knows that Thompson is already dead. It strikes me odd that Central Dispatch would not have known this. When McGarrett is in Stoner's room near the end of the show, the picture on the wall showing Hookman with hands is one supplied by Armes himself where he was wearing cosmetic arms and hands for his real-life detective work. The opening scene with the casket falling out of the hearse is brilliant. Rod Baker, who co-wrote this episode, e-mailed me: "The director didn't plan that shot. My writing partner, Glen Olson, and I watched the filming of the fish-tailing of the hearse. When they were ready to move to another location, Glen and I looked at each other and said something to the effect of 'why don't they film the coffin pitching out of the hearse.' Luckily, [executive producer] Leonard Freeman was on the set and overheard us. He said it was a great idea and wanted the shot. The director, Allan Reisner, complied and was not upset with our 'meddling'." Stuntman Beau Van Den Ecker is the driver of the hearse. There is outstanding photography and Morton Stevens' best score for the series, which won an Emmy. All end credits from this one to the end of the series begin with "Starring Jack Lord."

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122. Draw Me a Killer****
Original air date: 9/19/73 -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
Arthur (Elliott Street) is very creepy -- he's a "schizo" who is obsessed with Judy Moon, a comic strip heroine. Arthur goes around knocking off people in real life similar to those threatening Judy in the daily papers. (The size of the comic strips in the papers he reads seem to be unusually large, by the way -- there are like 5 strips per page!) At the beginning of the show, McGarrett visits Mrs. Royce, widow of one of Arthur's victims. She is a middle-aged bag with a blond-haired beach boy stud lying in a hammock beside her. (The actress playing this role, Audrey Totter, was formerly a film noir blond bombshell in the 1940s!) When the stud gets up to leave, she says "Go back to improving your mind, Bunny." After listening to her sarcastic abuse, McGarrett says "Thank you for your courtesy." Arthur works for Verna's [Dog] Grooming Parlor and drives the company truck, a Chevy van with the ubiquitous 732-5577 phone number on the side (license number is 92-572). The soundtrack has a thumping heartbeat-like noise whenever Arthur encounters any characters like those in the comics. McGarrett asks Che about a book the latter is writing: "Famous Cases Five-O Never Solved." After he has a brainstorm in the barber shop (Robert Witthans is the barber) and realizes the "gimmick" behind the killings, McGarrett phones up Eddie Sherman to get back issues of the Judy Moon comic strip from the newspaper. (Where does Arthur get the large blowup of Judy on his wall?) Jean Tarrant as psychiatrist Dr. Bishop is asked by Five-O to produce a "profile" of the killer. She says the "paranoid schizophrenic" Arthur has "never been able to make it with a real live girl." Danno tells a very lame joke about how his character of Officer Danny should be written into the comic strip's plot. This show uses a shot of garbage being dumped from #74, "No Bottles...No Cans...No People." There is a sign in HPD headquarters with info about an "On-line Police Information System" ... presumably the "iron brain" and not the Internet! I like the end: Arthur shoots six times and misses Danno, who ducks down behind a box, then McGarrett plugs Arthur in the leg! A good McGarrett quote: "Static is a way of life around here, Danno." The police artist is identified as "Joe Donner," the cop who handles the computer is "Walt." Lowell Palmer, the artist behind Judy Moon, is played by Tom Hatten, who is left-handed. During the final sequence, in the background the Pantheon Bar can be seen which has a sign on its window saying that it is the "oldest bar in Honolulu."

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123. Charter For Death***1/2
Original air date: 9/26/73 -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
At the beginning of the show, McGarrett investigates the chartered yacht Marie Céline floating in Honolulu harbor, which is found to be crawling with bubonic plague-infected rats, along with three dead crew members. As a result of this, McGarrett winds up in an isolation ward for most of the show, directing the operation from a hastily-organized command center. Investigation reveals the yacht's three passengers escaped to shore. They are Leo Paoli (Nehemiah Persoff), a Corsican-born syndicate underboss from the American midwest who was deported back to Europe, along with his daughter Teresa and son-in-law Thomas Brown (Bert Convy). Paoli is trying to sneak back into the States via a roundabout route which includes Tahiti (hence the yacht). Fear that the trio may spread the plague eventually forces the Governor to take extreme measures -- he goes on TV and closes off all shipping and airplane traffic to Oahu. In quarantining the island, the Governor uses the big word "zoonosis" to describe the plague (this word is quite correct, by the way), though he goes on to say "meaning one primarily of rodents. It is transmitted from animal to animal by certain types of fleas." The contaminated trio make a reservation on United Airlines, flight 14, which is no longer accessible after the Governor's edict. Brown is sleazy -- he arranges to escape from Oahu, making a deal with local gangster Juro Tamaki (Nephi Hanneman) and then shoots his father-in-law dead after Teresa dies from the plague. Her death scene is gross; so is the scene where a container of dead rats is dumped out at the Department of Health. Brown arranges to meet Tamaki at an "all-night grind house" which shows "films direct from Denmark," including "Dirty Lovers." The poster for this film says "The French they are a funny race." (Admission to the theater is $3.00. The film which is playing as Brown sits in the theatre has mediocre dialogue and music.) Tamaki arranges for Brown to escape to another island via a helicopter which will pick him up at Makapuu Point -- this costs Brown a lot of money. However, as Brown is about to take off, the police arrive and shoot him, causing him to cling to the outside of the helicopter as it flies over the ocean. He eventually loses his grip and plunges to the sea below.

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124. One Big Happy Family****
Original air date: 10/2/73 -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
A very creepy episode about a white trash family of serial killers who arrive in Hawaii after murdering 125 people (the figure is upped to 150 by McGarrett at the end of their island stay) and stealing $40,000 in 24 states during the last three years on the mainland. Their M.O. is to get mundane jobs and, after a few days, murder their co-workers and rob the money on hand. In addition to Oahu, this show also features action on Hawaii and Maui. The outstanding score by Stevens is a mix of country and western with weird-sounding contemporary music, featuring a sinister violin solo reminiscent of Stravinsky's Histoire du Soldat (where this instrument is associated with the devil). Family members Bo Hopkins, Slim Pickens, Barbara Baxley, Robyn Millan and Lynette Kim play their parts to perfection. Millan as Hopkins' slutty blonde wife Rosalie asks Ric Marlow as Rene, the macho owner of a hairdressing salon, "Wanna try me?" and he replies, "You know I do, baby ... you're coolsville, baby." Rene wants her to become a hooker. When Rosalie thinks about this, there is damage on the print on the right which is noticeable in both the original TV broadcasts and the season six DVD set. Rosalie's libidinous father-in-law Pickens refers to her as "nudie girl" and feels her up in front of his wife, saying they are not "blood kin." She tells him that he should brush his teeth. Her husband, Hopkins, calls her "sexpot." While the family eats lunch at their hotel, clan matriarch Baxley is shocked at a couple behind them: "She's eatin' with an Oriental -- that white woman ... got no shame at all!" She tells her husband, "Next place we get to, I want you to make sure first it's for white folks only." Five-O character actor William Bigelow as Nomana (an Asian?), front desk man at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel where the family stays, tells McGarrett near the end of the show this family is "not normal." McGarrett is appalled at the end when Baxley tells him: "They wasn't kin ... they was all strangers ... it don't count with strangers.... It ain't stealing when they was dead first." It's quite possible that this show was based on a real case. Click here to read an excerpt that comes from a book on female serial killers.

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125. The Sunday Torch**1/2
Original air date: 10/9/73 -- Opening Credits
A series of fires set on Sundays is designed to distract the cops from a blaze planned at the pharmaceutical company owned by Otis Klepper (Lyle Bettger) where a government inspection is pending over some drugs for the military which caused cases of hepatitis. Kwan Hi Lim, who gets larger credit than usual at the end, plays a fire investigator named Marty Portobas who carries a gun in one scene. He says he thinks the firebug may be "sexually confused" -- "the fire or even thinking about it can give them the only sexual satisfaction they can achieve." There are plenty of stock shots of fires and firemen in this episode, and it looks like the producers used every stock shot of cop cars that ever appeared on Five-O (including the one turning the corner by the church). McGarrett tells Danno: "See if you can come up with a Sunday torch -- anywhere in this country." How can the guard at the pharmaceutical company hear the noise the real firebug Anthony Porter (Tom Simcox) makes inside the warehouse, since it seems pretty noisy outside? The guard is played by stuntman Chuck Couch, who possibly does the scene where the guard emerges from the building on fire. This episode falls down badly when considering the method the bad guys use to choose someone with a history of pyromania like Ray Stokely (Michael Anderson Jr.) to act as a patsy. Did they really expect some "pyro" to consistently show up at the fires they set so they could film him? Did they have access to Ray's medical records? Even McGarrett needs a court order to look at them! The ending, where McGarrett plots an elaborate ruse for Porter as he is on the way to the airport gives new dimensions to the phrase "time-compression." The violin theme is heard, normally and in a slow arrangement near the show's end.

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126. Murder is a Taxing Affair***
Original air date: 10/16/73 -- Plot -- Opening Credits
Internal Revenue Service investigator Jonathan Cavel (Don Porter), travelling under the alias of Henry Marsh, wants to grab $600,000 from a guy he is following to Hawaii, but the money goes astray, picked off the airport baggage carousel by two tourists, and the guy ends up dead in the airplane washroom, murdered by Cavel. Prior to the flight, there is a glimpse at signage connected with the new anti-hijacking measures that came into force around the time of the show. All the major characters in this episode -- Cavel, stewardess Alma Saunders (Jenny Sullivan) and the two tourists, Will and Betty Rowan (Jack Dodson and Sally Kirkland) -- are just so damn greedy and single-minded about the money! Cavel's methods to get the money back range from trashing the room of some other tourists to murder. After Saunders gets the money from the two tourists, she suggests to Cavel that they should run away together and "have a wonderful time," but he coldly tells her, "The commodity you're selling is not very rare ... about $10 on the average American street" before he strangles her with his belt. This show contains a rare process shot when Cavel is being tailed by Five-O. How much closer can McGarrett and Danno get, judging by Porter's rear view mirror? It looks like they are in the rear seat of Porter's stolen car! (Porter's license is 3E-1934, by the way.) McGarrett wears a weird hat when he confronts Porter at the end. It's difficult to understand how Porter can be heard over the noise of the helicopter. When Cavel jumps off the cliff at the climax of the show, committing suicide, the sight of his body bouncing off the cliff below is gruesomely realistic.

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127. Tricks Are Not Treats***
Original air date: 10/23/73 -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
In this show, McGarrett has to avert a potential war between several pimps in Honolulu's "Trick City" and mob boss Lolo Kensi (Gregory Sierra). Lolo is forcing the pimps (referred to by Lolo numerous times throughout the show as "pimples" and by McGarrett as "macks") to pay higher and higher "commissions." Assuming one can get past the appearance of the Superfly-like black pimps, which are too "70's" for words, this episode is not bad. The number one pimp, Harley Dartson (Glynn Turman) has what appears to be a "normal" family life. His blonde wife Semantha (Lynne Ellen Hollinger) acts as his answering service and takes calls for Harley's "stable," giving the girls advice like "shake that money maker" while her two kids are playing nearby in their house. Harley and his fellow "producers" arrange for a hitman from Detroit to knock off Lolo, which prompts McGarrett to ask for "a list of all long-distance calls to Detroit within the last 24 hours." Later, when McGarrett tells Lolo about this planned assassination, Lolo says "They care enough to send the very best." In keeping with the subject matter, the music by George Romanis is sleazy. There are a couple of eye-opening scenes: near the beginning of the show, there's a rear shot of a topless dancer and on the wall at the back of Lolo's office is a painting featuring topless native women. Seth Sakai appears as Kuji; Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid) is Phoebe, the bartender and owner of the pimps' hangout (next door to a restaurant named "Bob's Place -- Soul Food"); and Wilfred (later Mo) Keale appears as Wunton, who gets knocked off by a cop when he goes on a rampage after one of Lolo's thugs lays down the law at Phoebe's Place. Both Harley and another pimp, J. Paul (Ron Glass) -- who gets shot in the head at the beginning of the show -- have customized license plates for their Cadillacs -- J. Paul's is "MR. P" and Harley's is "00." The show has an interesting twist near the end, though one wonders how McGarrett will be able to make a case against the accused parties. The main thing that bugs me about this show is why it's the only episode which deals with Honolulu's black pimps -- without getting too stereotypical, you would expect that this is a major problem, and might be worthy of more than one show out of 278. (In fact, one is hard-pressed to come up with more than a couple of Five-O shows which feature black actors in a major role at all.)

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128. Why Wait Until Uncle Kevin Dies?***
Original air date: 10/30/73 -- Opening Credits
In this episode, Five-O has to deal with yet another über-organization, Reversions, Inc. This inheritance discount firm's racket is to provide money to heirs before their (very rich) benefactors die. The heirs sign over the inheritance to the company and the company collects on the benefactor's death, taking a few bucks for their services. The company is run by the suave but slimy Englishman Zachary Talbot (Murray Matheson) who spices his conversation with literary quotes. (The one at the show's end is by Alexander Pope, and McGarrett finishes it for Talbot!) When several rich people (all of whose heirs signed deals with Reversions) suddenly die within a short time frame, Five-O is suspicious, especially considering the company is planning to leave town shortly and move to Zurich, Switzerland. Bill Bigelow plays Charles Privit, who gets blown up in a boat explosion (the special effects leave a bit to be desired). Various stock shots are used for some of the other people who meet violent deaths: a guy plunges from a building in an "accident"; a racing car runs off the road and blows up (from the main titles -- we can see the number of the car which is 96); another man gets hit and killed by a car (from #101, "The Jinn Who Clears the Way"). The exploding car allows Danno to interview a busty babe on a boat ... watch where his eyes are! Chin interviews the long-haired hippie grandson of the man run over, and Ben talks to some blonde dame. What is peculiar later is when McGarrett is discussing the interviewees, two of five have Asian names (Kwan Lu and Shibata), whereas these three people interviewed plus Privit were all white. Lawrence Pressman plays Calvin Cutler, an acquaintance of district attorney Manicote, who helps Five-O entrap Reversions by posing as Edgar Bains, the heir of a reclusive rich guy who lives in the Kahala Beach area (just like Jack Lord). The HPD all-knowing computer is put into service to help Cutler/Bains establish his alibi. When Cutler phones the Five-O office to tip them off that Reversions has taken the bait, Jack Lord answers in a hoarse voice similar to the one he used in the final episode Woe to Wo Fat as Professor Raintree. Of course, Reversions is wiretapping Cutler's phone so they can overhear this conversation. Obviously the technology of the time was not advanced enough to let them figure out Cutler was calling the Five-O offices!

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129. Flash of Color, Flash of Death**1/2
Original air date: 11/6/73
Don Knight stars as the Australian opal courier Hobbs, who winds up in a mess of trouble when the highly-regulated shipment of stones he is bringing to Hawaii (along with some unauthorized ones) gets stolen almost as soon as he steps off the plane. It's pretty obvious from the beginning that he has been double-crossed by someone in jewelry store where is trying to unload his goods -- it turns out to be the boss's assistant Miyoshi Akura, played by the sexy E. Lynne Kimoto. Her co-conspirator Hal Webber (Al Avalon) is a bland character. Most of the enjoyment of the episode comes from hearing Hobbs carrying on "like a Limey" and going through various stages of rage over the loss of his shipment. There are some things that don't make sense in this show. After looking at mug books at the Five-O office, Hobbs tracks down Lee Franks, a man whose face he saw during the robbery when he pulled off his mask. Franks works at the Tristar Auto Clinic, which has the ubiquitous 732-5577 phone number and also has a sign which advertises regular gas at 36.8 cents a gallon and 41.3 cents for premium. There is some connection between Franks' boss, Jake Willis (Robert Basso) and Webber, which is not developed. Later on, Ben and Duke are shown snooping in Miyoshi's apartment at the same time Danno and Chin are looking in Hobbs' hotel room. (This is the scene where Duke has a good line as he is examining a stuffed teddy bear: "Dames keep more junk!") There is no explanation as to why Ben suddenly shows up here with Duke, since the last time we saw Ben he was tailing Hobbs, who had gone inside Webber's apartment building, and Ben had not received any instructions from McGarrett to abandon his watch. Hobbs escapes from the building by hiding down in a Lincoln Continental valet-driven by James (Kimo?) Kahoano, Jr. on the pretext that Hobbs' wife knows he is playing around with some woman who lives in the building and is waiting for him outside. (If this is an apartment building, why is there valet parking?) Incidentally, the Lincoln has the same license plate number (8E-5800) as the car owned by Harry Foxton, the Jack Carter character in #133, Try to Die on Time. When Duke throws the teddy bear to Ben, Ben realizes (don't ask me how) that it contains opals. But later on, when Hobbs confronts Akura and Webber in the jewelry store and forces Akura to get all the opals from the vault where she has hidden them, there is the suggestion that these are all the opals that were stolen earlier. So what is the point of the scene with Ben? To suggest that this is not the first time Akura has been involved in stealing opals? Hobbs also finds opals in Franks' room after he tracks the robber down, but Hobbs recognizes the stones as not his. There are also continuity problems with the scene where Jake Willis gets run over by a truck. Prior to this, Willis just misses getting hit by a green car, but if you look carefully at the previous scene where the truck is approaching, this car is nowhere to be seen. As well, in the closeup of the truck's tires skidding on the pavement, there are houses seen behind the truck, but the only thing on the other side of the truck in previous angles is some kind of canal.

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130. A Bullet for El Diablo**
Original air date: 11/13/73
McGarrett should listen to the Governor at the beginning of the show who gives the plot away when he says, "We've got a double problem." The illegitimate daughter of evil dictator Emilio Ramos (Richard Angarola), also known as "El Diablo," teams up with two radical types (Pepe Olivares, played by A. Martinez and Carlos Rojas, played by Richard Yniguez) to kidnap the dictator's daughter who is a university student in Hawaii. Edith Diaz does a good job portraying both daughters -- Maria Ramos, the one by his wife, is whiny and wimpy, while Rita Salazar, the one by his mistress, is forceful and ruthless. Rita uses makeup to cover a mole on her cheek -- just like the one which Maria is hiding with makeup as well. (They really do look a bit too much alike...) After Rita shoots her father who has come to Hawaii to pay the requested ransom, she goes over the Ilikai hotel balcony with a rope, but no one sees her, including people in the swimming pool below, some of whom are presumably looking up while working on their tans. McGarrett is much too clever in this episode. He has a major brainstorm: "Suppose ... just suppose ... there were two Marias..." Puh-lease!! The resolution of the plot takes place much too quickly given the time frame that the kidnappers have imposed on McGarrett. The music by Morton Stevens is excellent, sounding very similar to Hookman..

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131. The Finishing Touch***
Original air date: 11/20/73
Because he is going blind, documentation expert Norman Cargill (George Voskovec) concocts an elaborate scheme to forge municipal bonds with his girlfriend and accomplice Maxine Taylor (Lynn Carlin). As part of the plan, he knocks off two people -- one is Raymond Sakai, played by Seth Sakai, a printer who is badly in need of a shave; the other is bank employee Olivia Hillis (Linda Ryan). Having been consulted as an expert in the past, Cargill is very chummy towards McGarrett, even at the end where he assumes incorrectly that McGarrett will still be his pal despite the murders he committed to realize his ends. Suspecting there is something fishy, Five-O puts Cargill under surveillance, but forgets to clean up after they install a camera in the ceiling above his desk Cargill notices dirt from the drilling in the ceiling on a magnifying glass on his desk, which alerts him to the camera's presence. After Cargill freaks out and accuses Five-O of spying on him, Danno runs the bulky video tape machine in slow motion and McGarrett analyzes the tape that they do get of Cargill before he realized what was going on, which shows him dialling his girl friend's phone number (355-4991) -- this is the "missing link" that allows Five-O to clinch the case. This episode contains the first Five-O score by Bruce Broughton, who went on to score Silverado, among other things. The music behind Cargill's examination of the bonds goes on for 4 minutes, 54 seconds, one of the longest continuous musical sequences in the series.

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132. Anybody Can Build a Bomb**1/2
Original air date: 11/27/73
This episode evolves around an interesting concept, but unfortunately it is not very well handled. The bad guys, an evil consortium headed by sometimes Five-O director Allen Reisner in a cameo as the mysterious Hermes who wears sunglasses and drives around in a Cadillac, want $100 million or they'll set off an atomic blast in Honolulu. They send the governor a sample of plutonium in what looks like a pill bottle, and he handles it in his limo while sitting beside McGarrett. Despite what Dr. Ormsbee says in #195, Man on Fire -- "any contact [with plutonium] can be fatal" -- this may not be as scientifically preposterous as one might think. As long as plutonium is not inhaled or ingested (or, presumably, touched), it is supposedly not that bad, according to some WWW sites (I would give it a pass, though!). Other nuclear components can be purchased on the open market, according to the show. Uranium 238 is shown sitting beside some warehouse in Honolulu in propane-like containers, while Polonium 210 is stored in acetylene tanks. These are less hazardous than plutonium (again, ingestion or inhalation is to be avoided), but it is unlikely they would be available in a gaseous form, as is suggested. Despite the comment by Hawaii University-based Dr. Elias Haig (Lew Ayres) that sometimes these materials go missing, I'm sure that scientific types will laugh at their easy availability. Later in the show, the ransomers threaten to have a "modest radiation flash" (a.k.a. a small atomic flash fire) in Kapiolani Park. The device to do this is hidden in an ice cream cart and after Dr. Haig moves the cart into a public washroom at great risk to his own well-being, there is a glowing explosion. Dr. Klaus Richter (Richard Angarola), another scientist called in for consultation, comments, "Seal off that building, it'll be weeks [sic] before anyone can go near it." After his exposure to the device, Dr. Haig manages to assist Five-O in deactivating the bomb, while melodramatically clinging to life. The end of the show has another cheesy special effect, with cops shooting at Hermes' plane that is attempting to take off from Honolulu airport with the ransom money. The plane blows up, as does the $100 million.

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133. Try to Die on Time***
Original air date: 12/4/73
This show has a plot which is so complicated, it almost gave me an aneurysm -- I had to watch it three times! I hope the following will explain what is going on for those who were as confused as I was. Harry Foxton (Jack Carter), told by his doctor Roy Bromley (John Stalker) that he has six months to live, creates a lottery with 24 friends investing $10,000 each as to the exact hour he will die. He is estranged from his daughter Diane (the very sexy Louise Sorel) who considers her father to be selfish and irresponsible, but she buys the first ticket. Diane and one of the other investors, Scotty McBain (Fred Beir), had a hot and heavy romance several years before. McBain is in the "unclaimed freight" business, and went bankrupt three years ago (he tells McGarrett he made the $10,000 he used to buy his ticket during a recent surge in his business). While they were together, Diane was running a place called the Kula Club for which there were two sets of books, and she was taking McBain to the cleaners, resulting in his bankruptcy -- the set of books intended for McBain's eyes showed a loss of $500,000 in three years. Diane took $500,000 that McBain gave her and gave it to her father, who purchased the Surfside Country Club along with Peter Suyam (Yankee Chang), another of the lottery ticket holders. When Diane and Scotty broke up, things got very ugly. The show opens with a "beating the rap" party celebrating Harry's seventh month of life at the country club. Harry ducks out with Bromley, who gives him a poison pill. However, the doctor is shot dead by Mel Listie (Eddie Sherman), a wireman hired by McBain after Listie is tipped off by McBain via walkie-talkie from the party. Listie forces Harry to come away with him, and Harry expires soon after, but Listie puts Harry's body in Suyam's wine cellar and jacks up the temperature to confuse the coroner later with conflicting body temperature results. The next day, Listie takes Harry's body and puts it in Harry's car, along with the gun used to kill Bromley. Doc originally estimates that Harry died between 9:30 and 11:30 a.m. the morning after the party. This means that either Suyam (9-10 a.m.), Diane (10-11 a.m.) or McBain (11 a.m.-noon) won the lottery. An investigation by Five-O reveals drugs are missing from Bromley's office, but Harry's file is also missing. Bromley's office and home, Harry's home and McGarrett's office are all bugged by Listie. Suyam is found dead at 5:17 p.m. in the wine cellar the day after the party. He was last seen by his butler Lewis (William Valentine) before 1:00 p.m., and Doc estimates that Suyam died around 1:15 p.m. When Five-O go to Listie's place, someone shoots at them through the front and back doors. When they break into the apartment, they find Listie dead on the floor (not from their bullets), the shooter having escaped via a dumbwaiter. Considering Bromley gave Harry the highly toxic drug escadine choline, and the two of them had dinner (sort of a "last meal") prior to the party and left the dinner around 8:15 p.m., Doc revises his estimate of when Harry died to 12:15 a.m. When McGarrett visits Luther Heaton (Danny Kamekona), a lawyer holding the cash for the lottery, he finds out that Harry Foxton himself won the lottery, based on the revised time of death. Harry intended to give the money to his daughter to make up for all the heartbreak he caused her. Diane shows up at McGarrett's office with the gun used to kill Suyam that was planted in the glove compartment of her car. She says that at the time Suyam was being murdered, she was stark naked, taking a sunbath -- of course, there are no witnesses. McGarrett wonders if this abili is really dumb or really smart. After they discover McGarrett's office is bugged, the Five-O crew make up a conversation designed to trick the killer into showing up at Listie's van (full of wiretapping and other equpiment) that is currently hidden in a warehouse that they know about. The killer is revealed to be McBain, who was out for revenge after Diane screwed him around financially. Suyam was murdered by McBain because he knew details about the financial predicament that McBain experienced, specifically the situation with the Kula Club, and did nothing to stop it.

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134. The $100,000 Nickel**1/2
Original air date: 12/11/73 -- Opening Credits -- End Credits
This episode combines the "item passes from one person to another" plot device of #167, Diary of a Gun and #266, Use a Gun, Go to Hell with a couple caught in a bad situation (like #126, Murder is a Taxing Affair). Victor Buono as the slimy but debonair Eric Damien springs carney con artist Arnie Price (Eugene Troobnick) from jail to do some slight of hand at a numismatic convention held at the Ilikai Hotel where the 1913 Liberty Head nickel is being auctioned. Various shots of rare coins are seen at the beginning, "courtesy of United National Coin Corporation, Beverly Hills, California and World Wide Coin Investments, Limited, Atlanta, Georgia," accompanied by a narrator's voice telling how much the coins are worth. Although the title coin (as of 2003 worth in excess of $3 million) is seemingly in near-mint shape, what kind of condition is it in after all that it goes through -- being put in a coin box, being dropped on the street, and handled by numerous people? Jimmy Borges appears briefly at the beginning as a hotel manager, Robert Costa is the coin dealer in charge of the five cent piece. When Price checks out the coin box where he stashed the nickel, the binocular angle is totally wrong ... it's looking at the box from inside the hotel, instead of outside where Price is parked (car license number W-7001). However, the following binocular shot of the vending machine collector Jennings taking the money out of the box is correct, even though it seems to be a closeup compared to the previous view. Plot-wise, there is a big hole: there is no explanation as to why McGarrett is suddenly interested in Eric Damien when he is talking with Hans Vogler from Interpol on the phone. Prior to this, the Five-O people were discussing the engraver Henry Andecker who made the bogus nickel at the beginning of the show. Andecker got knocked off (unknown to Five-O) by Damien's hitman friend Paul Anthony (James Grahlmann), who used some bullets that contained mercury, and who dropped a shell casing where he murdered Andecker that came from some obscure European source. At this point, there is seemingly no connection between Andecker and Damien, at least as revealed in the show.

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135. The Flip Side is Death***
Original air date: 12/18/73
Four guys -- ex-con Tally Green (Don Stroud), music producer Art Walker (Peter Haskell), pineapple deliveryman Joe Keao (Gerald Waialae) and hotel employee/army reservist Louie Pahia (Frank Liu) -- pretend to be military men transporting a shipment of VX nerve gas (a very real chemical warfare substance) which ruptures after the truck carrying the cylinders is intentionally sabotaged in downtown Kahuku on the north of Oahu. But the cylinders are empty, and the "gas" produced by some smoke bombs is used as an excuse to clear the neighborhood which contains a bank that has lots of payroll money in its vault. After it's determined that the robbers cut through iron bars with a special orthopedic saw, McGarrett tells Ben to "check the medical supply houses and hospital supply departments." The case could have been solved when the cop on a roadblock later examines the 8-track tapes in the pineapple truck (license number B6-398) driven by Keao. One of the tapes is Santana's Abraxas with a "Walker Music Company" sticker on it, suggesting a bootleg. Later in the show when Danno checks a tape in the pineapple truck (which results in a brainstorm as to the "gimmick" in the case -- using the cartridges to transport the loot off the island), the contents of the tape are identical to Bob Dylan's "New Morning," and if you look closely when Danno knocks the tape on the dashboard you can see Dylan's face on the cover and the title on the other side of the cartridge as well. McGarrett spends most of this episode in his office in Honolulu while the Five-O Team investigate the bank robbery. When the police computer can't come up with a suspect from the hotel's guest list, McGarrett tells the computer operator, "It's got the Iron Brain stumped." This guest list contains several in-jokes referring to the Five-O production staff: James Pettus (story consultant Ken); William Lorin (Will, story consultant -- not this show); Curtis Heinz (James, assistant producer); Doris Kenyon (Curtis, story consultant -- not this show); Pamela Busch (Bob, casting director); Bernard Dixon (Richard, assistant to production manager); Curtis Fenneman (Cliff, assistant to the producer); Vivienne Freeman (producer Leonard). A woman screams -- probably one of the loudest screams in the entire series -- when the hotel elevator opens, revealing Pahia's body after he has been knocked off by Green (Stroud gives an exceptionally edgy performance). Pahia's body is removed in a Physician's Ambulance as is Keao's after he is also found murdered. Several shots are repeated -- the closeup of the hands stuffing the money in the 8-track cartridges, the labelling of the box of tapes (the address is Art Walker, P.O. Box 3352, Los Angeles 90027; Walker's Honolulu office is in ZIP code 96816), the Five-O car barreling past two HPD cars, the pineapple truck entering the garage at the Kuilima Resort (later Turtle Bay Resort) where two of the robbers are staying, and Pahia delivering tapes to Keao in the hotel garage. The score is credited to Ray, but the music in the first half of the show is almost all from Hookman by Morton Stevens.

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136. Banzai Pipeline***
Original air date: 1/1/74
Rick McDivitt, who wants to make a film to rival the classic Endless Summer with his surfing brother Roger (Nicholas Hammond) steals the wallet from Edward Huffman, who is on the verge of leaving town because of an indictment from the DA's office, but shows up at the beach to meet crooked developer Oswald Greggs (Bob Basso). Instead, he gets a knife in the back from Greggs' thug Andy Koa (well played by the gorilla-like Rudy Diaz), since Greggs is worried that Huffman will try and finger him to get a lighter sentence. Huffman's wallet contains Global Express National Credit Card number 317 9090 842 -- it has the same colours as Chargex/Visa. Rick is tracked down by Five-O through his use of the stolen card -- McGarrett tells Ben and Duke to "check all fences and hock shops" after Rick uses the card to buy expensive goods and then tries to pawn them to get cash to pay for the processing of his film and buy more equipment. Primitive credit card technology is shown, including a machine which flashes a green light on top to indicate the purchase was approved, along with a manual credit card imprinting device called the Addressograph Electric Recorder. Five-O also locates Rick's address via his fingerprints which are on file at the Department of Motor Vehicles, though it's difficult to figure out how the cops could have tracked him down this way. Greggs and his henchman Cass Tanner (Jack Hogan) also track down Rick from a can of undeveloped film that Rick dropped when he fled the area near the murder. Credibility is stretched by some of the camera and projection techniques in this episode. If Rick is on the beach filming surfers, how can he take a shot of them from the side while they are riding the wave? The shot near the end where Rick, looking for "foxes," pans up to the sky and then over to the beach where Tanner with a rifle is hiding seems a little artsy-fartsy. Greggs and Tanner run Rick's developed film in their projector backwards. And the way that McGarrett zooms in later with the projector to isolate Tanner in Rick's final film is totally unrealistic -- the quality of the image remains sharp. Despite its flaws, this is an essential "Hawaiian" Five-O episode because of all the surfing footage!

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137. One Born Every Minute***
Original air date: 1/8/74
An OK episode about two bunco artists, Joe Connors (Ed Flanders) and Cindy Imala (Lynnette Mettey) teaming up with locals Big Mardo (James J. Borges), Sunada (Tommy Fujiwara) and Elfidio (Doug Mossman in a rare "bad guy" appearance) to scam rich tourists into "investing" in diamonds. Connors uses the aliases Tom Madrid and Gerry Spain. A sign on the Ilikai, where much of the action transpires, advertises a show called "The Polynesian Man" starring sometime Five-O actor Nephi Hannemann in the hotel's Canoe House restaurant, and Ben grills the barman at the hotel's outdoor watering hole (Joe Geremia, uncredited). Mitch Mitchell plays the hotel manager. Connors and Imala drive a snazzy red convertible with license number 7B-8848. When Danno shows a picture of Imala to potential victim Harry Maguire's (Michael Strong) wife Natalie (Patricia Herman), she says, "My husband doesn't know tramps like that." Danno says, "Did we say she was a tramp?" John Stalker plays the crooks' final victim Alex Anderson. I'm surprised when Maguire leaps from his hotel room to his death, despondent over all the money he lost, they don't show the usual stock shot. Prior to Maguire's death, the "bonging bell noise" from #92, Cloth of Gold, is heard. Kam Fong's son, Dennis Chun, appears briefly as a parking attendant.

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138. Secret Witness***1/2
Original air date: 1/15/74
Ted Reynolds (Mark Jenkins) works at the Kal Bi Restaurant, which is at 1146-C 12th Avenue and has the phone number 732-2088. On his way home from work early in the morning, he witnesses a murder by hitman Bo Lansing (Mark Gordon), who drives a black Lincoln Continental, license number 4B-2322. Escaping from Lansing, Reynolds drops his library book (The Poetry of Robert Frost, edited by Edward Connery Lathem), which contains his library card inside, number 23-8956, that reveals his address to be 9916 Kapena Street. This is actually his previous address, his current one is apartment 801-127 Koa Street which Lansing gets from the phone book. During this opening sequence, several local stores are seen, including Michiko's Flowers, Kaimuki Inn, Paradise Market and Ideal Pets and Supplies. The body of Lansing's victim, Joe Wang, is removed in a black Physician's Ambulance. When Reynolds reads about a reward for information about the shooting in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, the paragraph below this has no relation to the case at all, referring to a "preliminery investigation." Reynolds writes a letter to the paper's "Secret Witness" editor -- he does this anonymously, keeping a corner of his letter so he can be identified later if there is an arrest or conviction. After the newspaper turns over a copy of the letter to Five-O, McGarrett asks to "have some Xerox copies made." McGarrett later quotes from the letter: "The man was dark-haired, under 6 feet tall, and weighed between 150 and 160. He wore dark glasses, a light-blue sports shirt and blue pants." However, none of this information is in the letter, which is shown in close-up twice prior to this! Mark Lenard does a good job playing the wisecracking mob boss Bok. When he asks McGarrett and Danno what they're doing about Joe Wang, Danno replies, "We've already observed a couple of seconds of silence in his memory." Later in McGarrett's office when Bok reaches for the suitcase full of stolen money that McGarrett is using to entrap him, the music is momentarily reminiscent of Star Trek where Lenard, among other things, played Spock's father. Lansing is one of Five-O's very nastiest villains -- at the end, he puts a gun to Reynolds' baby's head. Lansing must have good eyesight, since he can see the name and house number on the mailbox of R. Tanaka (Yankee Chang) from the eighth floor of Jenkins' apartment. Tanaka's phone number is 555-6571, and he lives at 3539 Ewo Blvd. Other phone numbers on the same page in the phone book that Lansing consults before calling Tanaka are either 555- or begin with KL5, the equivalent to 555. Interestingly, in the column to the right of Tanaka are names like Talsky, Talstad, Talt and Talton, all of which should come before Tanaka, alphabetically speaking.) There is some creepy electronic music as Lansing knocks on the apartment door and Reynolds' Sally-Field-like wife Sue (Cindy Williams) answers it. A bit of the Hookman score is reused, as is the trombone interval theme, which is heard on plucked strings at the beginning. A fly lands on Lansing's face at the end after he is shot. At the end, it's amazing that Lansing doesn't see Danno, who is up against the wall in a stairway with a rifle which he wanted to use to knock off Lansing. The hitman and his hostages pass right behind Danno, who should have moved to the stairway going to the next level when they were behind the wall. If the very careful Lansing had turned to the right for a second, he would have seen Danno!

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139. Death with Father***1/2
Original air date: 1/22/74
The show opens with a heroin bust at a laboratory in the middle of nowhere by Five-O and HPD (McGarrett describes the dope as 15 kilograms of 98% pure #4, worth about $5 million). The initial shots showing two men in gas masks preparing the drugs are creepy -- they look like they are from Mars. One of the suspects escapes during the raid, and is later fingered by one of his pals to be Tom Morgan (Peter Strauss), son of Cliff Morgan (Andrew Duggan), an ex-cop who is known to McGarrett. Morgan Senior has been "beached" by his organization (it is not specified if it is HPD -- he says that friends in "Treasury" clued him to the bust after it happened). One wonders if his early retirement had anything to do with unorthodox methods he used while investigating and arresting. It's likely that Morgan was connected with HPD, since he later cons the cop in charge of the HPD evidence room into leaving his post so Morgan can break in and steal the drugs which are in a locked cabinet. Initially, Morgan Senior does not believe his son -- who majored in chemistry at college -- had anything to do with the drugs, but it's revealed that their relationship is extremely dysfunctional. Morgan Junior tries to get his Asian girlfriend Janice Wu (Luella Costello) to give the cops an alibi for the time he was cooking up drugs, but she is resistant to the idea. Later she is found overdosed in her apartment, with the suggestion that Tom might have contributed to this. Danno refers to "[qual]ludes" when he finds Janice (her apartment is at 211-275 Pele St.). In the scene where Danno accompanies her to the hospital in the ambulance (she expires before it arrives), there is a peculiar insert edit as if there was a flub in the scene and the director did not want to reshoot it, since, typical of the show, it is shot inside a real ambulance travelling down a real street. Tom deals with Kwan Hi Lim as the slimy druglord Lee Song, who smokes in a weird upside-down manner reminiscent of Laugh-In's Arte Johnson. Seth Sakai is his assistant, Luu Se Ngu. When Ben tails suspect Tom, it's in the usual Five-O manner. At one point, Tom is about to leave on his motorcycle with Janice behind him, and Ben looks directly at Tom out his car window as Tom pulls out from the curb! Some of the photos Ben takes of Tom meeting the two dopelords at the War Memorial Natatorium (identified by a sign as the Waikiki Natatorium) are at the usual wrong angles as well. The ending of this episode is very disturbing. Tom turns on the propane tank while talking to his father and then ignites the gas and his father does nothing to stop him. The resulting fireball looks almost like that from an atomic bomb. This is the first Five-O episode directed by Jack Lord.

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140. Murder with a Golden Touch***
Original air date: 1/29/74
This show stars John Mamo, also known as well-known character actor John Fujioka (see #157 -- "Hara-Kiri: Murder"). Mamo plays Tenjo Kayata, boss of the Asian Metal Arts Company which deals in gold and similar things. ("Tenjo" means "ceiling" in Japanese.) Kayata is being scammed by his son-in-law Greg Lawrence (Peter Donat), who is in cahoots with the Cockney entrepreneur Joe Quillan (John Orchard). Lawrence and Quillan melt down gold that Lawrence steals from Kayata's company, then they cast it and dump it off Makapuu Point with the help of two salvage operators, Fleming (James J. Sloyan) and Boyle (James Davidson) to make it look like part of a 150-year-old shipwreck. There seem to be several extra people on the boats when the gold is being dumped into the ocean ... this increases the chance of the scheme getting known. When Fleming and Boyle are found dead underwater, McGarrett says, "The finders were not keepers." (Sounds like an episode title!) This episode reuses "The Finishing Touch" music by Broughton, though the score is credited to Ray. Two other stock themes -- "echoing trumpets" and "bonging bell" are also heard. McGarrett makes a goof when he says that the total amount of gold stolen from Kayata's was "185 pounds Troy weight" which is about "300 kilos." One pound Troy weight equals .373 kilo, so 185 pounds would equal about 69 kilos, not the 258 found in the wreck. Asssuming 258 kilos, gold is worth about $132 an ounce. If we use the correct 69 kilos, an ounce is worth about $500!

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141. Nightmare in Blue****
Original air date: 2/5/74
One of the best "contemporary issue" shows. Walter Stark (John Beck), a cop who didn't make the grade at HPD, cruises in a cop's uniform and in a cop car of his own making, looking for women alone at home or stuck somewhere outside with car trouble with the intention of befriending them, then brutally raping and murdering them. Stark is sadistic and very creepy, especially since we don't know what makes him tick. Camera angles looking up at him from the passenger side of his car (license 2B-1975) add to the unease, along with the effective dissonant score by Don Ray which has the high strings playing some notes that sound near-electronic. McGarrett is extremely sympathetic to the rape victim Andrea Burdick (Katherine Justice) despite her husband Joe (Alan Fudge) who tries to prevent McGarrett's access to her and trots out the usual clichés based on typical police response and courtroom prosecution behavior of the time like "a woman gets raped ... she's asking for it!" (The first shot of the terrified Andrea in the hospital is ghastly.) When Fudge says, "You're not going to make my wife out to be a tramp," McGarrett replies, "No one has more compassion for that lady in there than I have." (The end titles identify this couple as Andrea and Joe Barone, by the way.) McGarrett is so frustrated by Five-O's inability to catch the rapist that he kicks a door in his office violently. Doc brings up the issue of identifying the cop's blood type from analyzing his semen. McGarrett says he wants "the youngest and prettiest" policewomen to act as decoys for the rapist. He addresses one of them, Laura (Elissa Dulce), as "honey" twice. Ed Fernandez plays HPD Captain Ed Harada who is relieved that none of the real cops are involved in the crimes. The tires on Stark's car that Che Fong uses to help solve the case are made by the "American Ohio Rubber Company".


This episode provoked a disturbed reaction from author and feminist Caryl Rivers in a New York Times op-ed piece on October 6, 1974 entitled "TV Has Fun With Robbery, Arson and Kidnapping. So Why Not Rape?":

"The 'Hawaii Five-0' episode featured what I can only describe as 'glamour rape.' The show reminded me of the old gangster movies in which Humphrey Bogart or James Cagney lived it up in grand gangster style until the last reel, when the obligatory Just desserts were served up to them. At that point, they were either gunned down, blown up or toasted in the electric chair. The message we were supposed to get was, Crime Does Not Pay. But the message we really got was, Ah What Fun It Was While It Lasted!

"The rape on 'Hawaii Five-0' was not horrifying, not ugly. 'Titillating' is the word for the way it was presented. Lovingly, the camera stalked the rapist's victims. It peeped at shapely legs in mini-skirts, leered at a wiggly walk, watched a swaying bottom. It made rape seem like a subject for a Playboy centerfold, an incident without terror and pain. The cop-turned-rapist was all swagger and macho menace in his blue police uniform and tinted glasses. He killed and mangled his victims, true, that was given short shrift by the TV camera. The camera ogled legs and bottoms, but we got only a glimpse of the victims' bodies. A gorgeous female hitchhiker in tight jeans and a blouse that bared her midriff climbed into the rapist's car. A few minutes later her body rolled out of the car and down an embankment. For the TV audience, it was a brief glimpse of a cipher, not a human being. The hitchhiker victim was not a real person, and of course there were those tight jeans: Wasn't she really asking for it? Perhaps, the incident seemed to suggest, she merely got what she deserved.

"Another victim was slapped around by the rapist, but, in the counterfeit style of most TV violence, it was unconvincing. I felt no terror, no anguish as I watched. I've seen too many people slapped around on TV shoot-em-ups. Again, the woman being roughed up was a cipher. Afterward, there was a bit of contrived drama about the woman -- who had survived the attack -- and her husband, which provided the show's hero (acted by Jack Lord) with a chance to lecture the victim about her duty to cooperate with the police so as to save other women from rape.

"'Glamour' is the only word I can use to describe the aura created by the manner in which the rapist was photographed. There were, for example, numerous low-angle shots of his police car, sleek as a jungle cat on the prowl. The blue light atop the car twirled, phallic, and restless. Given the clear relationship between the automobile and male sexuality in our society, the symbolism was obvious, even if unintended by the producers of 'Hawaii Five-0.' The effect was sexy and glamorous, not horrifying. The rapist was slim, handsome and virile. The camera's treatment of him was so blatantly machismo in tone, granting him so much of the swagger and force that All-American boys are supposed to covet, that I had a funny feeling that a lot of viewers weren't identifying with the victim but with the villain. Sure, he got his just desserts in the end, but while it lasted -- ah, what fun it was!"

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142. Mother's Deadly Helper***
Original air date: 2/12/74
Anthony Zerbe gives an excellent performance as Lester Smith, a.k.a. Cord McKenzie, a right-wing crackpot who thinks he is helping McGarrett by dishing out "justice" to criminals who avoid prosecution because of technicalities, early parole and so forth. Smith is a member of a group called "Ever Vigilant" and hails from North Dakota where he served in the National Guard (shades of current-day militia types). On the rear bumper of his Buick (license W-9277), he has a sticker which says "Support your local police." At the beginning of the show, Smith rushes from a courtroom where a judge refuses to give Manicote another continuance for a trial, climbs to the top of a nearby building, and plugs Joe "Happy" Furika, the defendant, who has been released. What is odd -- no one looks up or seems interested in figuring out where the fatal bullet came from (Smith is not using a silencer). Shortly after, McGarrett is at the scene, and Duke rushes up with a special delivery letter from Smith which arrived at McGarrett's office. Obviously sent before the shooting, it predicts the assassination, though when McGarrett reads it aloud in his car it says the defendant would get "a bullet right through his stinking gut," whereas the actual letter shown on a screen later in Che Fong's office says "stinking head." Frustrated with the inability to track Smith down, McGarrett goes on a TV talk show hosted by Freddie Dryden (Casey Kasem), who he has found loathsome in the past, with the intention of getting Smith's attention. Of course, Smith is watching, and even forces people in the Jollyland Arcade, where he works, to stop what they are doing and watch the TV. The gimmick in this show that leads to Smith's capture is the background noise in the arcade, which Che Fong analyzes with an "oscillograph." As well, Che determines that the ZIP code from which Smith mails his letters to McGarrett is 96813, correctly located in downtown Honolulu. Five-O has only a couple of hours to figure things out, but it all works, as usual. During the final pursuit and fight, McGarrett gets bonked on the head with a garbage can, which draws blood.

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143. Killer at Sea**
Original air date: 2/19/74 -- End Credits
Vincent Gordon (Keene Curtis), a business manager, is forced to withdraw money from his clients' accounts, which causes one of the banks in Honolulu to get suspicious. When shots are fired as Gordon escapes from the bank, Hawaiian Congressman Chang, one of the people coming to his aid, gets killed. Gordon escapes from his kidnappers' clutches and the driver of the car escapes onto an ocean liner which is sailing for San Francisco. McGarrett and Danno join Gordon on the ship as they attempt to track down the driver of the car and the loot. Although there are supposed to be about 600 people on the ship, there doesn't seem to be too many in either the dining room or at the lifeboat drill. John Byner appears as the mundane nightclub comic Duffy Malone who owes a lot of money because of his gambling habit. Also on the ship is Elena Lewis (Gail Strickland), a feature writer for Transpacific Wire Services, who buys McGarrett a bottle of champagne, which he describes as "a friendly ice-breaker at $14 a throw." He asks her why she did this, and she replies, "We're supposed to be the liberated sex." He says, "No, no, honey, I don't buy it ... with your looks, you don't have to give away bubbly." When McGarrett calls the Five-O office from the boat, the number is the familiar 732-5577. Suspicion falls on the only (!) passenger with a record, Frank Fallon, played by William Devane who Gordon never identifies during two inspections of the passengers with McGarrett. At the end where Fallon, who knows where the $500,000 that Gordon took from his clients is hidden, is escaping up the baggage conveyor, it's obviously not him. Overall, this is a pretty lame episode. There is a potential romance between McGarrett and Elena which goes nowhere, lots of red herrings (is the ship's "chief" played by Peter Leeds involved in the theft?), John Byner's lame jokes, and a twist ending with what seems like pretty limited evidence to support it.

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144. 30,000 Rooms and I Have a Key**1/2
Original air date: 2/26/74
David Wayne plays an elderly crook named Monsieur Bordeaux, a.k.a. S.R. Horus, who is a master of disguise, similar to Lewis Avery Filer in #59, "Over Fifty? Steal!" There are numerous parallels to the earlier episode, especially the music, some of which is reused along with excerpts from #131, "The Finishing Touch." Bordeaux is far too clever, even more so than McGarrett. How would he know that his first victim in the show hides jewellery in a shoe in the closet (this is written down on the large "notes to self" which Bordeaux lights on fire and leaves in an ashtray after committing the crime, one of his trademarks). It's not as if Bordeaux bugged the hotel manager's office as he does later in the show, and the manager would say words to the effect that those particular hotel guests didn't want to put their valuables in the hotel safe and they instead put them in their shoe. Bordeaux' notepad mentions the "Hotel Ilikia" even though we have seen the Ilikai's actual sign and elevator only a few seconds before; he also writes down "Minoa Suite" (instead of "Manoa") on the notepad as well. Later at the Hawaiian Regent Hotel, Bordeaux knows that a hotel guest has hidden some pearls inside the back of the room's TV set. This really defies belief, not only that Bordeaux would know this, but that someone would carry a screwdriver around so they could take off the back of the set and hide something in this bizarre location. Bordeaux also manages to rig a bungee-like cord to the balcony of a room that he is burglarizing, presumably well ahead of Five-O bugging the room with video surveillance equipment which they use to watch his every move. Despite his age, he uses this to leap off the balcony to another balcony below and escape after McGarrett catches him in the act. Bordeaux is definitely one of Five-O's cheekier villains -- he sends Five-O an invitation to one of his upcoming burglaries. McGarrett tells Chin Ho to have Che Fong check this invitation for prints, but both he and Jenny already handled it! Five-O also goof up when a diamond courier is supposed to meet a client on a hotel's tenth floor, but Bordeaux taps into the phone line and directs the courier to the ninth floor where he takes possession of the goods. Why doesn't Five-O have someone checking the elevator to see what floor it goes to? For his final escape Bordeaux appears suddenly in the hotel hallway, Danno and Ben chase him around the floor in opposite directions, and Bordeaux semmingly vanishes. Ben finds the bungee cords high up in a heating vent at the top of the corridor, and Danno tells McGarrett by walkie-talkie that Bordeaux has gotten away. This is totally illogical. Bordeaux then shows up in a room nearby on the same (19th) floor where he is captured by McGarrett!

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